Instant Karma

Go West, Young Man! Go West

2005-11-10T08:55:00.000-08:00

It's finally gotten to the point where R cannot possibly stand to work for that place for 3 more years, as originally planned. Without getting into too much detail, the company sucks and the people he works with suck and he cannot handle the suckiness anymore. So, after lots of discussion, we've decided that it will be best for him to apply to other jobs - somewhere where the sucking will be held to a minimum, if at all possible.

The main issue that has caused the most discussion is that R finding another job will almost certainly involve us moving to the upstate. That's where all the engineering jobs are. Sadly, that would mean I'd have to leave my most fabulous job and we'd have to figure out exactly how to pay my organization back for the $9K they've shelled out thus far for my grad school education. Those are the things on the "cons" list. Luckily, and this is why I'm supporting the move, the "pros" list is much longer. I won't list every single pro, just know that there are plenty of them.

Ironically, the theme of the Homecoming floats last weekend was "Go West, Young Tiger," and it looks like go West, we shall. No specific time frame, but it would be prudent to get out now while we only owe my company $9K instead of waiting several more semesters at $3K a pop.

Just for fun earlier this week I looked up real estate in the upstate to see what our house buying opportunities would be. After seeing what we could get for LESS than the RENT we're paying now, I called up R and said, "Not only do I support your decision to move, I verily insist we move up there!" We'd have to pay out the wazoo for the same size house here. That's on the "pros" list.

At least then you'll know

2005-11-07T00:11:00.000-08:00

"They like to sniff at really stinky things. So you know that if the dogs are really into sniffing your crotch, it's really stinky. Kinda like a Crotch-o-Meter."

Happy Diwali!

2005-11-01T07:35:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of the Indian festival, Diwali. My husband is of Indian heritage, but we don't know a whole lot about the culture. So, I Googled Diwali and found this: On the first day of the festival, it is traditional and particularly auspicious to buy silver jewelry for the women of the household. I think I like this holiday.

Costumes

2005-10-31T08:27:00.000-08:00

While getting ready for work this morning:

"Oh, are you dressing up as the Alpha/Beta plant manager for Halloween today?"

"Yeah...This is the scariest costume I've ever had."

Parade of Pets

2005-10-26T08:50:00.000-07:00

Our first pet was a little brown dog that I barely remember because I was still so little and the person we got him from failed to discover that the puppy had heartworms. He died the day after we brought him home. Next came a black puppy we named Lucy. I remember that she would jump up on my legs when I came home from Kindergarten and give me scratches. Lucy got hit by a car after only a month. Around the same time, we had a cat named Bashful. I was only two years old, but I vividly remember playing with Bashful in the open garage when the neighbors pit bull came up the hill, grabbed the kitty in his mouth and took him off into the woods. My mom was in the kitchen and saw it happen, so she ran outside and whisked me up off the ground. Bashful was one of several cats this particular dog terrorized, so that dog was taken away by animal control.

Next came Shorty. This is where my memory of my pets starts to become clearer. Shorty had a squished little flat face and an underbite, so his tiny teeth stuck out. My older sister and I would dress him up in doll clothes and push him around in a stroller. He was such a good dog! Concurrently, we had a cat named Sneakers. When we moved to Malaysia, however, both of those pets were given to friends.

In Malaysia, I had a parakeet named Sprite. A friend taking care of Sprite while we were on vacation accidentally let him out of his cage while she was feeding the bird. Sprite flew out of the open window into the jungle. When friends of ours moved back to the States, we took their old, old Golden Retriever named Cleo. Cleo scared the crap outta our gardner and the meter readers, though she was old and friendly and the worst thing she could do would be to sit on you or pee on you. Cleo died of old age. Also in Malaysia, we had a dog named Ginger. Ginger looked more like a fox than a dog. She freaked out the gardner and meter readers, too. When we moved away, Ginger went to live with a school friend of mine.

Back in South Carolina, I got a rabbit who I named Beau. We also had a cat that took up with us who we named Sneakers. When we moved to Texas, Beau came along, but Sneakers stayed in SC.

While in Texas, Beau died...of constipation. Who knew you can't feed rabbits too many vegetables? We had several stray cats that liked to hang around - Mrs. Snowball and crew. I also got a mini weiner dog that I named Zoey.

Zoey came along with us when we moved to Pennsylvania. She got out and ran across the road while we were bringing in groceries one day. A woman who was driving way over the speed limit hit her right in front of our faces, but didn't stop. My older sister got pissed, jumped in the car and took off after her. She forced her to stop, come back, and appologize. For my little sister's birthday one year, I got her a tiny black kitten that she named Muffy. We then got a black schnauzer mix shelter pup we named Ace. I think my older sister also had a rabbit named Belinda in here somewhere, but I don't really know what happened with that.

Ace and Muffy stayed with us through our move to Virginia and through high school for me. I went to college and my family moved back to South Carolina. Ace and Muffy came along. My little sister got another cat named Peanut. (Oh, yeah, there was another cat of hers right before Peanut that I accidentally killed in the dryer, but that's another story...). Now that she has gone to college, Muffy went to live with a friend, Peanut is living with a cousin, and Ace went to live in North Carolina with a family friend (I live in an apartment and couldn't take him).

The family friend just called me a week or so ago to tell me that my old, grumpy Ace dog has died. He was 13 years old, which, for a schnauzer especially, is getting on up there. He had a heart attack. This littany of pets of my childhood has come to a close. One day when R and I get a house, we will surely get a dog, but I think I will think of that as the first dog of my adulthood.

Third Lane Option

2005-10-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

I've heard of the Third Lane Option and thought of how nice it would be to use it sometimes, but never have I actually seen it used until this morning. However, it was used poorly. Picture this: Four-lane highway with median turn/suicide lane. Four cars (I am one of them) traveling in the dark rain of the early morning, using both of the south-bound lanes. Here comes Mr. Ford F150 thinking that we four are going too damn slow. So he pulls into the turn/suicide median lane and passes us all on the left. Brilliant! We all caught up with him at the stoplight. And the next stoplight, too. And the next one. I'm glad he was in such a hurry to pass us because it certainly got him where he was going faster.

Surprise House

2005-10-19T07:59:00.000-07:00

There is a plantation 2 minutes from my home. Yes I live in the South and there are still working plantations. Not with slaves and all, but they sure do love to gouge the money from the public's pockets by charging $20 for a $3 pumpkin. This particular plantation always has seasonal activities. The activity of this season? The aforementioned pricey pumpkins and a Haunted House (in a tent with strobe lights, as seen from the road at least).

As we drove by it last Saturday night, strobe lights urging the masses in through the haunted doors, R commented that it's not so much a "haunted" house as a "Surprise! I'm-a-badly-dressed-scary-character-jumping-out-of-the-darkness-when-you-least-expect-it House."

The thing is, this still scares the crap out of me. I mean, c'mon...I jump 3 feet in the air when R gets home from work and walks into the kitchen while I'm in there getting dinner ready. I get startled very easily. R knows this. He likes to take full advantage of it. I can't even count the number of times I've been showering and I almost have heart failure because R thinks it is amusing to sneak in and say "Boo!"

Muffin Tops

2005-10-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

Just because you can button size 6 jeans around your butt, does not mean they fit!

And...HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY, R! I love you.

Fall Down, Go BOOM!

2005-10-11T11:41:00.000-07:00

Today they are demolishing the two old Cooper River Bridges. While they did give fair warning on the news, etc. that this would be happening, I needed a little more personalized warning. For instance, "Maria, please put down your full cup of hot tea because in the next 10 seconds there is going to be a huge explosion several blocks from your workplace." RIP Grace and Pearman Bridges. Thank you Ravenel Bridge for cutting 10 minutes off my commute!

Going up.

2005-10-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

A perfectly healthy person should not use an elevator to go to the second floor!

Verbiage

2005-10-05T07:26:00.000-07:00

One phrase of acknowledgement and farewell of which I am not particularly fond:

"Have a good one!"

Have a good one what? Have a good "day" or "evening" is obviously what the person intends. But it could just as well be "Have a good life," or "Have a good bowel movement."

Crustaceans for Education

2005-10-04T08:37:00.000-07:00

I ate lobster for the first time nearly four years ago and I haven't had any since. It's not becuase those little crustaceans are not delicious - because they are - it's just that, I don't often get the opportunity. My first and only lobster dinner was on a cruise. It was the choice between beef Wellington or lobster tails for my entree. On the advice of a cruise-savvy fellow diner, I had - both! Yes, you can do that on a cruise! After all, you've already paid for all your food...you might as well get your money's worth. So I had both. Then I had another lobster tail. I think I gained 5 pounds that week.

Since then, however, despite living on the coast, no more sweet, buttery lobster has crossed my lips. This, I think, is about to change. One of my aerobics instructors has a kid whose school is having a fund raiser. Gotta love those fund raisers. But this one is kinda neat. It's not your normal wrapping paper, candy, or magazine subscriptions campaign. It's called Crustaceans for Education. You buy live Maine lobsters, which are shipped to the school from the waters of Maine the day you pick them up. They're either handed over live or steamed for you. I think I'd go with the "steamed for you" option, as I've never cooked a live lobster before.

The best part is, the pick up is the weekend before R's and my 1st anniversary. It might be fun to have a little lobster dinner to celebrate!

There's a Flag on the Play

2005-10-03T07:37:00.000-07:00

While watching football this weekend with my husband:

"Illegal booby-grab,

On the offense,

5 yard penalty,

Repeat booby-grab."

*honk*

Oral Bling

2005-09-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I went to the dentist as per my usual oral hygiene routine (brush - 2x daily, floss - 1x daily, mouthwash - 1x daily, dentist - 2x yearly). With that regimented schedule, imagine my surprise when he told me I had three cavities and a cracked tooth and would need a crown! Ugh, I'm only 25. I feel like I shouldn't be getting crowns at this tender age.

So last month I went in for them to create a mold, drill my tooth down to a nub and stick me with a "temporary" crown - meaning a piece of some substance to cap over my tooth nub and irritate the crap out of me for four weeks while I waited for my permanent crown to be sculpted of gold and porcelain. Four weeks? We're not sculpting the Pieta, here - it's a tooth. So for a whole month I had an extrememly sensitive tooth. Ice cold beverages = ouch. Chewing gum = irritation. Crunchy cerial and carrots = cannot be chewed on the right side of my mouth.

So finally two days ago I went in to get my real crown. The dentist chatted with me as we waited for the anesthetic to take hold of my gums. "What are your plans for the weekend?", "Well, I'm going to watch the Clemson football game." "What time does it come on?", "Sadurday ah fee furdy.", "Okay, let's get started with this crown." He yanked off the temp crown, which actually felt heavenly given the irritation it had caused, and began prepping the real crown for cappage. He put it on my tooth and then threw his entire body weight behind it as he pushed it up into my gums, as if his goal was to push the tooth through my jaw and into my sinus cavities.

As much as I didn't not enjoy the whole experience of getting a crown, I must say that this new tooth is really quite lovely. It looks nicer than the rest of my teeth - although, you don't see it often, being as that it's in the back of my mouth. But I can chew my cereal on the right side of my mouth again and that's all that really matters.

Things that Make Me Smile

2005-09-29T08:39:00.000-07:00

Driving over the new bridge as the sun is rising, watching the light of the new day wash over the city.

BUMP!

2005-09-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish that driving in real life was more like Mario Kart. Kinda extreme bumper cars, but no one gets hurt. When someone gets in your way, you just knock them off the road...but don't fret! The little cloud dude will just come and pick them back up again and they'll be on their way la-ti-da.

Green Is Good

2005-09-27T07:25:00.000-07:00

I have no pets. Yes, it is very sad, I agree. I desperately want a puppy, but I have moral objections to keeping a dog in an apartment when I'm gone 12 hours a day. Not to mention our particular apartment managers make it ridiculously expensive to keep one and have all sorts of rules regulating them. No pets under 1 year of age, no pets over 40 lbs on the ground floor or 25 lbs on the second floor. I ask you - what do they do about children?! So, a hold has been placed on that idea until we get a house.

I used to have a fish named Blackhaus. It was a beta and I pretended that the hyperactive wiggling it did when I came near the bowl with fish food was because it loved me, not the food, for I was, after all, the one who cleaned out the bowl and gave it fresh water every week. Well, at least as often as when it got a thin layer of scum on top. But last year, after nearly 3 years of glorious, fishy life, Blackhaus took the great water ride to the sky. RIP.

So, for now, I have to content myself with potted plants. And I have to admit, I do not have a green thumb - or any other good plant-happy color of thumb for that matter, as I tend to kill most plants with which I come in contact. You can't kill bamboo? It's soooo easy to care for, you say? All you have to do is water it? Dead.

But as of a few weeks ago, I am trying my best to make a valiant effort in caring for my potted pets. Some of them were looking rather peaked, so I got them some fresh, moisture-regulating, miracle grow soil (miracle is the right word...I'll need one!); some new, bigger clay pots so they can stretch their legs; and I even pulled them back from the edge of the porch in case the winds from Ophelia got to whipping around in the courtyard too much. See, I'm a good plant mommy! They're looking pretty good as of now. I just need to remember to water them. Or not water them, so I don't over-water them. I've been guilty of both.

Kermit on Acid

2005-09-27T00:18:00.000-07:00

I don't think it's so much the caffiene in Diet Mountain Dew that gives you energy. I believe that it's merely the fact that you're drinking something the very color of RADIOACTIVITY! That's bound to put some pep in your step. Or make you sick. One of the two.

Must be the New Year's Parties

2005-09-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

In two weeks we will be driving to Atlanta because my grandmother is throwing my grandfather a surprise 80th birthday party. While the mere mention of this venture causes R to roll his eyes and groan, it will actually be a very useful trip for the purpose of gift giving. You see, a disproportionately large number of people in my immediate and extended family were born in the month of October. This leads to a great OUTflux of money in October for all the gift buying and mailing (By the by, why does it often cost more to pack and ship a present than the present itself actually costs? When is someone going to invent that Star Trek transporter gadget?). So now I can make my purchases and tote them with me across two states and hand them to my relatives in person. While the cost of gas may negate the cost I save on shipping, I still like to think that I can chalk this one up in the "win" column in the battle of me vs. the postal system.

Popsicle Toes

2005-09-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I learned several things during my day trip to Clemson to revel in the orange, drunken atmosphere that is the Tiger football season.

The first lesson is that triple overtime means lots more beer. That was almost a given. There will be a quiz on this tomorrow during the game against Boston College.

The second is that after triple overtime and said beer, my feet can still autopilot me back to our tailgating spot - through downtown, across Bowman field, down the steps to the amphitheatre, around the reflection pool, past the library, past the Brooks Center, through the parking lot - over the river and through the woods. All this through a thick sea of orange coursing through the campus's veins. It's a good feeling to know my mind doesn't have to engage to make it across campus. This just goes to show that something from my education was able to engrain deep down in my brain. I somehow managed to take the final 20 exposures on my camera on my journey (yes, an old-school, point-and-click FILM camera, not a fancy-schmancy DIGITAL, for which I've been vying). I'm interested to see what's on that film. I don't recall exactly, but it is, in some form, all of the places listed above.

Upon return to the car, I learned my last lesson of the day. Well, the night, really. My father-in-law likes to keep the temperature of his car somewhere in the range of SUB ZERO to MEAT LOCKER. I was so cold, I didn't know if I'd be able to stand it. Now, I'm not a sleeper who likes covers, in general. In fact, I'm one odd duck: I generally dispise covers on my legs and feet, but enjoy covers around my shoulders. I also like to keep my head sandwiched between two pillows, which I read is something that autistic children do, but that's another story. So, in my father-in-law's car, I did have the fortune to bring my pillow, though not a blanket, and my tank-topped body was getting cold (It was 90 degrees that day, people! We were tailgating! I thought I was dressed appropriately!). So I took the pillowcase off of my pillow and wrapped it- nay, bound it with a frozen ferocity - around my shoulders. When we got home four icy hours later, we fell into bed. My husband said, "Ahhh, it's so nice to be home." I replied, "Ahhh, it's so nice to be warm!"

Sounds of Silence

2005-09-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

The other night R decided to watch some football in bed when it was past my bedtime. I have some awesome earplugs that he brought home from work that I wear in situations such as this. Yes, he listens to the TV at very low volume, but I have hyper-sensitive ears when I'm trying to go to sleep. Usually, I'll wake when he flippity-flops in bed once he's ready to go to sleep, and I'll take the stoppers out. But last night I was way too far into Dream Land to let something like that rouse me. I slept like a proverbial baby (not a real baby, mind you, because I hear that they sometimes - heck, often - don't sleep heavily). I would have never awoken from my dreams had R not shaken me. Ahh...sleep is so much better than waking at 5:30! Reason number 473 why I'm waiting to have kids: I like to sleep PAST 5:30 on weekends.

Silver Lining

2005-09-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

One good thing about being in a hospital: Riding up on the elevator with a hot resident named Drake.